Sophomore year excerpt
I signed up for summer school; Drivers Ed. I was able to convince my friend Lear to take the class with me but most of my friends thought it was crazy taking Drivers Ed during the summer. Me and Lear will be the only ones among our group of friends with a drivers permits by the time school starts so that was incentive enough to go to summer school. My, Behind-the-wheel teacher was Ms. Palmer, she was about thirty with a short mannish haircut. I was disappointed that me and Lear weren’t together, instead I was teamed up with a brother-sister duo; Aubrey and Daniel McMurphy. They were really weird, Aubrey who’s Asian was adopted and heavy into Goth and had a bad attitude and her brother Daniel was a white kid who was the gayest gay person I ever met. It made me wonder what was going on in their household where one kid dressed like death and the other kid was a serious homosexual. “Aubrey you can go first and then Grant and then Daniel,” Ms Palmer said as we leaned against the white Ford Taurus. We all got in the car and Ms. Palmer sat shotgun. I sat in the back seat with Daniel and Aubrey sat in the driver’s seat. “So, when you plan on starting the car? It is Driver’s Ed,” we all chuckled a little as Ms. Palmer made a crack at Aubrey. “Oh,” Aubrey started the car. “Where am I going?” “Drive to McDonalds, I need my coffee,” Ms. Palmer said looking like she had a hangover. “Are you serious?” Aubrey asked. “Yeah, just don’t kill me, I’m a single parent and the only mom my kids have,” Ms. Palmer said relaxing us with her humor. “I think I’m going to like you Ms. Palmer,” I said. “Oh yeah, well I’ll like you better if you buy my coffee,” she replied. “Can we buy something?” Daniel asked. “Sure kid, I don’t give a shit,” she replied putting on her sunglasses and slumping into the passenger seat. “C’mon Aubrey the vampire slayer, drive this damn thing already, I’m getting cranky and I need my coffee!” Ms. Palmer sarcastically yelled at Aubrey. “Which pedal is which?” Aubrey said being a little nervous. “The right pedal is the accelerator and the left pedal is the break, give the accelerator a little gas and let’s go damnit!” Ms. Palmer gave her directions. Aubrey put her foot on the gas but we didn’t go anywhere. “Put the gearshift in drive!” “Oh, I knew that,” Aubrey looked for the gearshift and we were finally rolling. Aubrey drove about ten miles an hour and it took us twenty minutes to get to McDonalds which was usually a seven minute trip. We all got out and went inside the restaurant. “I’m going to the toilet, you guys pitch in and buy me an Egg McMuffin, a small coffee and a yogurt parfait,” she gave us her order and went to the bathroom leaving us at the counter. “Did she seriously just give us her breakfast order?” Daniel said making a face. “Yeah, it looks like it,” I said. “This is highly unprofessional, I think she needs to be reported,” Daniel complained. “Stop acting so gay, it’s just a dollar between the three of us,” Aubrey argued and I’m glad she was the one who said something because he was being annoying. Daniel rolled his eyes and handed over a dollar and I did the same. “Whatever, I’m going to the bathroom,” Daniel left me alone with Aubrey. She ordered the food for Ms. Palmer and I waited beside her. “Is he really gay?” I asked. “Are you kidding me? No one has to ask that, it’s pretty damn obvious, he’s been a flamer since he was four,” she snapped. “Don’t get mad at me,” I laughed. “To be honest, I was just making conversation.” Aubrey was an average looking girl but she was spunky. She wore black Dock Martens with black shorts, and a black T-shirt, her jet black hair was pulled back in a high pony tail and she had multiple piercings; tongue, nose, lower lip, and eyebrow. “Which one of those piercings hurt the worse?” I asked. She licked out her tongue and exposed a silver barbell in the middle of her tongue. “Eight weeks of pain,” she explained. “So, why did you get your tongue pierced?’ “Not for the reason most guys think,” she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say anything,” I found our banter funny. “You didn’t have to, you’re a dumb guy like all the rest of the horn-dogs,” she replied. “Why I gotta be horny and dumb?” I continued to take her comments lightly. “Just get the coffee and let’s go,” she demanded. I let her walk ahead of me to the condiment table so that I could look at her body. She was waif thin and super short, maybe four foot nine; but when she opened her mouth, she was a firecracker. I was beginning to realize my type. I didn’t know I had a type until now; I like girls who aren’t afraid to snap off at me. The fact that she just called me a dumb, horn-dog really turned me on. Every girl I like or have had sex with started with them running their big mouths. Hell, even Ms. Palmer was starting to look kinda cute. Although my heart still belongs to Marta I was pleasantly intrigued by the Asian Goth girl and I wanted to continue talking to her so I joined her at the condiment table where she was stuffing packets of sugar in her pockets. “Sugar thief,” I instigated. “Like McDonalds is really going out of business because I’m taking sugar packets, back the hell off!” she yelled. “I was kidding. You know what I think?” “Don’t really care.” “I think you talk smack because you’re short,” I said feeling provocative. “Is that your idea of a pickup line because you’re failing miserably,” she said bluntly. “So what’s your type?” “Not conventional boring looking black guys. You look like a Republican.” “I ain’t no Republican!” I don’t know why that offended me, when I think of Republicans I think of cranky old white people. “You’re wearing a polo shirt, khaki’s and sneakers. Black guys don’t wear sneakers, black guys wear kicks,” she insulted my choice of clothing. “First of all my mama picked out my outfit because she don’t want me dressin’ ghetto,” she erupted in laughter, so I continued. “And second of all, you’re a walking contradiction; you try to stand out with your black eyeliner and black nail polish but then you criticize me for not fitting in your little box of what you think a black guy should dress and act like, so who’s being conventional and boring?” she stood there and twisted her lip. “Okay, I’ll let you have that one,” she smiled. “So you wanna go out?” I asked. “You’re like twenty feet taller than me,” she noticed how I towered over her. “Everyone is twenty feet taller than you,” I joked and she laughed. “So when do you wanna go out?” “Just to let you know, I’m a virgin and I don’t have sex,” she found it necessary to lay out her dating perimeters. “What do you do?” I lightheartedly asked. “Oral, but only after I get mine first,” her candor took me by surprise. “And I don’t want a girlfriend because I already kinda sorta have a girlfriend,” it felt good to start a relationship with pure honesty. “So why are you askin’ me out if you have a girlfriend already?” “Because she’s was molested,” I wondered if I should have said that the moment it flew out of my mouth. Aubrey didn’t know Marta but I still felt like I just betrayed her confidence. “Where you wanna go?” she asked. “How many dates before we can…you know?” since she was being forthcoming I figured it was better to just get to the point. “I don’t care as long as you do me first, that’s the rule, too many guys get up and walk away after I’ve done them.” “That’s fair I guess, but how do I know you’re not going to get up and walk away after I do you first?” I was concerned about getting jipped. “You don’t, it’s called risk taking,” she smiled. “So, let’s skip the date and get right to it,” I suggested. “Cool,” she shrugged her shoulders and agreed so easily, I think I just entered a “friends with benefits” relationship. Finally, Ms. Palmer came out of the bathroom and Aubrey handed her the breakfast she ordered. “So, Ms. Palmer what do we get if we buy you breakfast every morning?” I asked. “You get to pass the class,” Ms. Palmer said taking a sip of her coffee. “So you take bribes?” Aubrey asked. “Hell, yeah. I gotta supplement my income somehow, you know teachers don’t make a lot of money.” Daniel rejoined us and we were on our way. “Grant take the wheel, Miss Goth U.S.A. drives like my dead grandmother,” Ms. Palmer made another crack on Aubrey and handed me the car keys. I was stoked. I get to drive and I had a date to hook up, this was going to be a good day. *** After class, I had Ma drop me off at Marta’s house. I was sleepy so I fell into her bed linens and got comfy. I could tell by the smell of the sheets which side of the bed she slept on and that’s the side I buried my face in. “Take a nap if you like, maybe we’ll go swimming later,” she said softly. My eyelids were heavy so I fell asleep. When I woke up I was still a little groggy, I could see her walking around in the bathroom with the door partially open, and she was naked, completely buck-naked. She must have showered while I was sleeping and wasn’t aware that I was awake. She was applying lotion to her body; she stood to the side so I wasn’t able to get a frontal view. Her breasts were medium sized, very firm and beautiful, her thighs and calves were muscular; she had a pooch belly that jiggled when she applied her lotion. She secured her wet curly hair with a hair clip but half of it still hung down past her shoulders. She turned around giving me a perfect view of her ass, which was flat, she didn’t have a black girl bump like Shauna but I won’t hold it against her. She put on her underwear, a pair of baby blue boy shorts that left a little of her butt cheeks hanging out. It was so sexy. “Close the door, I can see you,” I said aloud. She came out of the bathroom completely topless. “So! You never seen your mama’s chichis before?” she went to her dresser and pulled out a white tank top to cover her “chichis” but her nipples were erect and so was I. She propped herself on the bed next to me and I could smell her fresh fragrant body. She took the clip out of her hair and her wet locks draped the bed. “Do you think I should cut my hair, it’s such a pain to comb,” she complained about her long hair as she brought it to one side of her shoulders. “I like your hair; do you know how much black girls would pay for that hair?” “I am a black girl,” she responded. “You know what I mean.” “Yeah, I know what you mean. You have a good nap,” she leaned over and her wet hair brushed against my face as she gave me a motherly kiss on the cheek. “Yeah.” “You fart in your sleep,” she chuckled. I was afraid of that. “Only for you,” I played it off as if I wasn’t ashamed. “You still want to go swimming?” “No, I showered already, if I went swimming, I’d have to shower again.” Suddenly my cell phone began to vibrate, I went to check it but Marta playfully snatched it from me. “Who’s this calling you?” she said hiding the phone. “Give it back!” I tickled her on her soft belly to get her to release my phone. I love the way she laughs. “Is this your puta calling you?” she laughed still holding my phone out of my reach. And then I figured I’d let her read the text. I knew it was Aubrey trying to hook up so I wanted to see what reaction Marta would have, then I could get a sense of how she felt about me; if she was jealous, then she may have feelings for me but if she disregard the text without any emotion then she doesn’t. “Fine read it, I don’t care,” I stopped fighting for the phone and let her read the text. I sat close to her as she opened my text box. My eyes rested on her breasts, down to her thighs and legs, and back up again. “Where r u?” she read it aloud. “Who’s it from?” I asked. “Who’s Aubrey?” “My puta,” I smiled. I wanted to see her response to my admission. “What does your puta do for you?” “Nothing,” I didn’t want to tell her the true nature of our relationship. “Bullshit!” she called me out. “Okay fine, we hook up on occasion,” I said honestly. “What do you care?” I asked biting my lip. “I don’t,” she paused. “She’s a puta,” she handed me my phone and I still didn’t know how she felt. “You go see Aubrey and I’ll see you mañana,” she got under the covers and settled in for a nap. “Lock my bedroom door on your way out,” I put my shoes on and left. I didn’t know what to think, she hid her feelings very well. But she still turned me on and I would certainly be seeing Aubrey later for a much needed cleansing.