Monday, October 31, 2011

Ooops! What to do when you tell a secret.

It's happened to the best of us. A friend tell you something in confidence and you spill it and they find out. Now, you look like a loser friend and everyone is giving you the stink eye. What do you do? Take responsibility. Nothing is more irritating than redistributing blame; "I told so and so not to say anything," or "It wasn't my fault, you know I can't keep a secret." Loser move. If you spilled the beans admit it with an apology. Hopefully your friend will be forgiving and give you another chance. But, if he/she doesn't, give them space to process the betrayal. In Sophomore year, Grant tells a horrible secret about Marta to advance his own needs and he doesn't feel the repercussions of telling the secret until months later. If this happens, be prepared to lose your friend and get talked about because its almost guaranteed to go through the gossip mill. If your friend finally comes around and pardons you; know that he/she might not be sharing anymore secrets with you for awhile and that you may be on the outside of the pack until trust is rebuilt. Learn from your lippy mistake, put yourself in the other person's shoes and keep your big mouth shut.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Are you ready to lose your virginity?

Think about it carefully before you answer. According to some sources the average age an American teen looses his/her virginity is 15-17 years old. Becoming sexually active should be a choice not made in haste. Some of the reasons why teens are loosing it so early is peer pressure; for both boys and girls. They are made to feel like they're missing out on something. But they aren't. Girls should especially think twice before "giving it up" because females are hard wired to think and feel emotionally, it's a necessary primal trait needed for mothering later on. And boys, are instinctively wired to procreate and spread their seed to as many females as possible. That's not to say that boys are incapable of feelings or being attached to a female but its less of a factor for them. So, they aren't going to have that gushy, warm, loving feeling that girls have afterwards. Most of the time they'll just take a nap or go play video games. The main character Grant clumsily loses his virginity at 15 years old and regrets the odd encounter for the duration of the book. He like average teens had to deal with other issues such as, how long to wait, forms of birth control and where you should do it; there's nothing less romantic than the basement of a friend's house or the back seat of a car. Consider this, you'll most likely be having sex for the rest of your life so don't you think the first one should be at least a good memory. Stop and think.

Have you ever had feelings for someone that was off limits?

We've all been there; a glance from a besties boyfriend or girlfriend, a study partner, a the geek that's the social outcast. You try to ignore because it's hands off, even if the feelings are there. It's so frustrating. In "Freshman year" Grant is attracted to his chick friend Marta and it causes all kinds of trouble for him. This problem is universal. You toss and turn at night trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. There's an easy solution to the problem; if the other person is attached then it's hands off. Never violate a friendship with your bestie. But for everyone else, take the plunge. What do you think?